So I have a mouse in the house. He lives on scraps of rabbit food. Having one cord-chewing miscreant already and having heard scary things about hantavirus, I called Target to ask if they had any mousetraps. Yes. Okay, good. How about ones that don't kill the mice?

"Sure, we've got all sorts of glue traps."

Not quite what I was asking, guy. That's some psychopathic reasoning right there.